


What's the use of disapproving a thing that's preordained?

by kallooh



Category: Emily of New Moon - L. M. Montgomery
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-20
Updated: 2015-12-20
Packaged: 2018-05-07 19:29:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5468285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kallooh/pseuds/kallooh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ilse leaves Teddy at the altar. Emily leaves New Moon and PEI.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What's the use of disapproving a thing that's preordained?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [StripySock](https://archiveofourown.org/users/StripySock/gifts).



> For StripySock, who loves the Emily books even more than I do

_ “Stay with me to-night, Emily,” entreated Ilse. "I swear I won’t talk you to death and I won’t cry either.” - Emily's Quest, p. 209  
_

 

Later Emily wasn’t sure how she lived through the next day - she could have endured welcoming the relatives and dressing in the harebell blue dress, to stand and watch Ilse and Teddy marry. Then Ilse ran off to see Perry and, worse, refused to return with Dr. Burnley and Rob Mitchell, saying she wasn’t marrying anyone. Emily marshaled through and returned to New Moon that night, thankful to be in her own familiar room - and aware there was a new world where everything had to be readjusted. 

 

Two nights later, after Ilse showed up at the house and refused to let Emily dwell on the incident. “What’s done is done, Emily dear. Let’s walk to Lofty John’s Bush. I’d rather not stay here overlong and risk seeing your Aunt Laura cry.”

 

Emily nodded and they headed out through the garden.

 

“Will you be marrying Perry then?”

 

Ilse laughed. “You know, I heard old Aunt Ida say he had been killed and I had to go see him. I realized I didn’t care one whit about marrying Teddy. So I tore over to Charlottetown and found Perry with barely a scratch on him. I went to hug him and then shook him for giving me such a scare. And Emily, I realized after all these years that I don’t feel the same way about him any more. I love him like an old chum or a sister.” 

 

“I suppose running off from the wedding will cause enough gossip. No need to add to it by finding a replacement groom.”

 

“Exactly,” Isle smiled. “I’m glad you’re not trying to lecture me. I must return to work and I wouldn’t want to leave with you annoyed at me. The best way to get this to blow over will be to stay away for a while.” 

 

Ilse continued, “You should come visit me in Montreal. Have you ever left dear old PEI? There is nowhere like it - but other spots have their charms too. You’d be welcome to stay as long as you like, hide in my rooms and write. I am going to find a flat of my own and hire a girl to cook and clean so you needn’t do a thing.”

 

Emily remained silent. She mostly felt tired after the last turbulent weeks. Ilse took Emily’s hand in hers and the look on her face changed in the shifting moonlight. “Please, please come Emily.” 

 

Emily looked up into Ilse’s eyes and sat very still as Ilse leaned forward and pressed her lips against Emily’s. Emily felt a tension she didn’t know had been in her release and she leaned toward Ilse, raising her hand to Ilse’s cheek. Ilse opened her mouth and just touched Emily’s lips with her tongue. Emily felt a distant voice in her head telling her to move away but she didn’t want to. Her hand stayed on Ilse’s cheek. Emily realized right then that she hadn't felt empty because Teddy was marrying Ilse. She had been devastated because Ilse was marrying Teddy.

 

A sound - an owl? a fallen branch? - and the moment was over. Ilse leaned back. “I’d been wondering for some time what it would be like to kiss you..” She stood and hooked her arm in Emily’s to help her up from their seat. 

 

Ilse chattered gaily through the walk home. When they reached New Moon she again took Emily’s hand and quietly insisted, “you  must come visit -  soon ” and kissed her as a friend, before slipping off.

 

 

* * *

 

 

September 22, 19--

Montreal

Here I am. It feels so very strange - true, I told Ilse in the past that I envied her travels - and I meant it. Yet deep down I don’t think I really believed I would leave PEI. I felt rooted there - until Ilse jilting Teddy unmoored everything.

 

Cousin Jimmy drove me to the station and pressed a new Jimmy book into my hands before leaving hurriedly. Of course nowadays I can buy my own books but it’s quite sweet of him to continue giving them to me. Aunt Laura and Aunt Elizabeth had packed a feast, for which I was most thankful. The train takes some hours to reach Montreal as it stops in many small towns along the way. Before that there was the ferry, and I did fear I would be seasick. Quite the opposite - I could have stood in the salty fresh air for far longer than the trip to New Brunswick. I wonder if I were a sailor in a past life? 

 

Ilse met me at the train station and immediately I felt more at home. She looked the same Ilse, wearing an incredible hat with giant roses that would have looked overdone on anyone else. She hugged me tightly before whisking me to a waiting cab. She has changed her perfume, thankfully, to a less heavy scent. It’s still very much her - a little exotic, a hint of floral notes. 

 

On the ride to her flat I gawked out of the window at all the people - the buildings - the crowdedness of it all. Ilse laughed and laughed. Once we arrived she showed me to my room and left me to refresh myself. My room is at the back of the building, with a little balcony that overlooks a small, pretty garden with some of the same flowers Jimmy and I planted at New Moon last spring. I stepped to look outside and a soft autumn breeze blew past me. “Oh Wind Woman, old friend!” I cried out, involuntarily. 

 

I am excited to be here - and anxious - and anticipating - what? I do not think I can admit to that, yet.

 

October 4, 19--

Montreal

I have had many lovely days wandering the city. Ilse stays busy with her work and is often out til late so the first hours of the day are mine. I cannot get over the habit of waking before dawn (New Moon time, Ilse calls it). Early mornings are a glorious time to explore, before the city bustle has begun. I do not love the city as I do New Moon but I feel we can be good acquaintances, possibly friends.

 

We attended several dinners, most invitations coming from people curious about Ilse’s country friend. I try to be gracious, after all many of these people pay to see her recite or hire her for elocution lessons. Occasionally the Murray comes out and I lapse into chilly silence. Ilse’s natural vivaciousness covers my lack of it.

 

Neither of us has returned to the discussion we had last June in Lofty John’s Bush.

 

October 18, 19--

Montreal

The city and I have nearly become friends. She has shown me quaint alleyways and small squares with trees among her grand buildings. When I sit in the back garden I feel a connection to New Moon, as if the flowers here were cousins of the New Moon flowers and exchanged letters. Would they write of Jimmy boiling potatoes for the pigs and reciting poetry? Or of the moon over Blair Water? I am growing very fond of Montreal and at the same time I have a lingering tendril of homesickness. Only a wisp.

 

Last night at dinner another guest was an author so of course our hostess sat us next to each other. He told charming stories of his travels and I found myself quite fascinated. We had an animated discussion on cities in Europe one must visit. Now that I have managed to venture from PEI, do I continue out into the wider world? There are so many places I’d love to go…

 

At one point I looked down the table at Ilse and thought I saw a look of jealousy on her face. I may have been mistaken, a moment later she was laughing and chatting with the man beside her. She stayed quiet on the drive home until I recounted his adventures in Egypt. “Doesn’t that sound thrilling, seeing the Nile and the Sphinx and pyramids?” I asked. Ilse agreed that it did, leapt into the conversation in her usual way, and we appear to have returned to - our new normal. 

 

* * *

 

Emily sat writing in the front room. She had been seized after the train ride with the idea of a series of stories set in stops along the route to Montreal. The train passed through many towns, each with its own characters and dramas, all clamoring to be told.

 

Two tall windows in the room let in plenty of light and she felt comfortable among the old fashioned furnishings. Ilse had told her, “When I saw this room I could see you writing here - and these big pieces reminded me of the old Victorian blocks you have at New Moon so I thought you would like it.”

 

Ilse came in yawning and cast herself on the sofa. “Three days with no appointments or recitals! Whatever shall we do, Emily dearest? Wouldn’t it be lovely if we could go for a swim? Too bad it’s too late in the year for it. Do you remember that time we went swimming in our petticoats and scandalized half of Blair Water?”

 

“Of course I do. And how we danced on the sand afterwards.” Emily smiled at the memory.

 

Ilse lept up and took Emily’s hands in hers. “We can at least dance now!” They swung each other in circles around the room, and inevitably one or the other bumped into a solid piece of furniture, causing them to tumble to the floor. Emily, sprawled inelegantly half on top of Ilse, was trying to get up when Ilse put her hand to Emily’s face. Emily stilled as Ilse leaned up to kiss her. 

 

Footsteps in the hall made Emily break away. Ilse’s maid peered inside. “Are you ladies all right? Such a noise I heard, I was that worried.”

 

“We’re fine, thank you for looking in Mary. Would you be sure the groceries were delivered, Miss Starr and I plan a quiet night in.” Ilse pushed herself up to a seated position, which moved Emily to sit on her lap. Ilse’s hand had earlier found the small of Emily’s back and remained there, out of view. 

 

“Look, Emily, I know you’ve been sheltered in our corner of PEI for ages,” Ilse began.

 

“I know that women sometimes live together in...in Sapphic ways,” Emily interrupted. “Do you remember Miss Treadwell and Miss Baker in Shrewsbury?”

 

“Yes I do. Why those two old girls!” Ilse grinned. “How did I miss that - and you caught on!”

 

“It was a shock when I first realized. They were both such sweet ladies and I didn’t like to consider them living in a wrong sort of way. When I thought long and hard on it, why should love be any different if it’s between two women rather than a man and a woman? It took me some time to come to that conclusion and I couldn’t see why I was wrestling with it so - until recently. I didn’t want to admit the same might apply to me.”

 

“After you kissed me - and I realized how miserable I had been because you were marrying Teddy and not the other way around - I spent a lot of time thinking. I decided to come to Montreal and, if nothing happened except we remained best of friends, at least I’d visited like I promised. I did hope - I wasn’t sure if you only wanted to kiss me that once - “

 

Ilse kissed her then, more urgently, opening her mouth against Emily’s. Emily responded as emphatically. Ilse’s one hand remained on Emily’s back while the other moved over Emily’s breast. Emily made a small noise in her throat and stilled.

 

“All right, darling?”

 

“Very all right.” Emily put her hand over’s Ilse’s. “Don’t stop.”

 

That night, over a simple dinner that Mary left for them, Ilse suggested they travel in the new year. “I had a letter from someone who saw me recite here, inviting me to speak in London. You should come with me. We’ll wend our way through Europe - we could even head down to Egypt. We can economize and share a room.”

Emily thought that was a wonderful idea.


End file.
